I hate my fucking job. That's about the only way of summing it up. I just know that I don't want to work in the Multimedia department of a dusty bookshop for the rest of my fucking life. I honestly can't see a way out. There is nothing I want to do more than get my damn band sorted and get playing some shows. I'm not saying it's the only soltuion to all my problems, but it's a bloody start.
Just where to begin, you know? I probably have a collection of 20-or-so (complete and incomplete) "songs" that I've written, and I just don't know where to go with it. To say I have writer's block right now is a fucking understatement. Writing this? Piece of piss, I could rant my chops off all day, writing songs is a whole other ball-game. Every song I write comes straight from the heart, and I pour every fibre of being into them. There are some I've shared with others - the ones about sex, drugs etc etc. The ones I haven't shared are the ones I'm having the most trouble with. The ones about real events, and experiences. I've shared them with my girls. Well, the bits that I've finished. It's just difficult to get it all down on paper, every letter a reminder of that particular event, stuff that I'd rather forget. That's where the block comes in. Perhaps it's my mind telling me I don't want to remember these things so why write them down? All I know is that I don't want to be like other songwriters, who write songs they know will sell
And to sing it for a living, bearing my soul every night (although i know it will take a Hell of a lot out of me) will just be the icing on the cake
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